


What the fuck is this server?

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bad Jokes, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Crack Relationships, Discord - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, High School AU, Humor, M/M, Most characters are LGBT, Teenage Drama, Teenagers, Wholesome, puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-12-30 02:17:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18306164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A collection of chat logs between the kiddos. (mainly s4 characters but include people from other seasons too!) Bad humor.





	1. Challenger approaching – clemeverett has appeared!

**Author's Note:**

> a huge thank you to my discord server for inspiring me to turn these silly chats into an actual fic. y'all rock.  
> also, this is heavily inspired by a couple of other chatlog fics in here so if i remember, i'll add links to those somewhere at some point ^^
> 
> this is not proofread and it has a lot of (mostly intentional) typos, this is mainly just something fun i can warm up on before proper writing!  
> this is based off on my high school AU (@chesarty on instagram wink) and has quite a few rarepairs like mitch/gabe and minerva/ava so if that doesn't float ur boat, kindly skip ;)
> 
> (the "chat room" is still a wip so the structure might change, let me know if it's easy to read and if i should add timestamps etc.)

-> Challenger approaching – **clemeverett** has appeared!

**marlon eats ass** pineapple slices on my nipps

**loverboy louis** your nips are like inside the holes of the pineapple

**loverboy louis** genius!

**loverboy louis** oh shit hi clem!!!!!!!!!

**victory violet** this looks worse than it is clem

**marlon eats ass** um

**clemeverett** i

**clemeverett** you know what, I’m not even gonna ask

**loverboy louis** glad u could make it to the server soldier!!!

-> **loverboy louis** has changed **clemeverett** ’s name to **strawberry**

**strawberry** what

**loverboy louis** au where everything is the same but clementine is called strawberry and her nickname is straw

**victory violet** hhhhfhdsjshfd

**strawberry** I’ve been here for 2 minutes and I’m already getting bullied what the hell u guys

**gabe hanna** CLEM!!

**gabe hanna** <3<<3<3<3<3<3<3

**strawberry** hello

**marlon eats ass** wow that response was cold

**marlon eats ass** like my soul

**victory violet** like your dick

**marlon eats ass** HUH??????????????????????????

**marlon eats ass** ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

**gabe hanna** howdo u know the temperature of his dick **@victory violet**

**victory violet** marlon radiates cold dick energy

**loverboy louis** are u still there clemmy??

**strawberry** I’m tryna process whats happening aaaa aaa aa

**marlon eats ass** im changing the subject i cant believe uve done this woman

**marlon eats ass** we had chem today right

**marlon eats ass** and im in the same group as mitch

**gabe hanna** cause ur an imcompetent fuck

**marlon eats ass** cause im an incompetent fuck

**marlon eats ass** and he got TOP POINTS in the experiment??????????

**marlon eats ass** i almost ate his paper

**loverboy louis** yumpy

**victory violet** well mitch is good at chem we been knew

**gabe hanna** u know what else hes good at

**strawberry** NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW GABRIEL

**gabe hanna** :(

**strawberry** no

**gabe hanna** :((((((((((((((((

**gabe hanna** i was gonna say at physics

-> **m(b)itch has come online.**

**marlon eats ass** oh great you summoned him

**marlon eats ass** hi honey i defo wasn’t gonan eat ur paper

**m(b)itch** it could probably give u maybe 3 more braincells

**marlon eats ass** first yall come for my dick then for my braincells what the fckuk???????????

**gabe hanna** i have about 7 brain cells

**m(b)itch** 7 braincells? okay GABRIEL stop flexing on us

**marlon eats ass** i apparently don’t have any Brian cells

**marlon eats ass** bRAIN

**strawberry** BRIAN CELLS

**loverboy louis** whos brian i though u were straight m?????

**marlon eats ass** shut ur fuck

**marlon eats ass** fuckin autocorrect im gonna fight samsung

**loverboy louis** see this is what u get for being broke

-> **loverboy louis** has changed **marlon eats ass** ’s name to **illiterate**

**illiterate** my samsung cost like 700 tyvm

**illiterate** LOUIS

**victory violet** tomlinson

**strawberry** omg lmao

**loverboy louis** HAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHHH HHAHA youre so funny im peeing msyelf vi!!!!! what a COMEDIAN

**strawberry** question

**loverboy louis** ask away darling!!!!

**strawberry** is aasim or james on this server?

**loverboy louis** …………

**victory violet** **@aasim @communism in korea**

**strawberry** WHO NAMED JAMES THAT I’M SCREECHING

**gabe hanna** guilty as charged

**gabe hanna** fun fact when i was a kid I thought the saying was “guilty ass, charged” and i thought it was BADASS

**victory violet** the more i hear about your childhood the more concerned i get

-> **aasim has come online.**

**aasim** Is everything cool?

**illiterate** um why is his name so boring this needs to be changed

**loverboy louis** DON’T

**loverboy louis** HE SAID HE WILL BREAK UP WITH ME IF I MESS WITH IT

-> **illiterate** has changed **aasim** ’s name to **t-series**.

**illiterate** im not the one dating him <3

**t-series**

**t-series @strawberry** Hi, Clem. Did you need me for something?

**strawberry** yeah sorry, what did we get for homework today in english lit?

**m(b)itch** wow how wholesome

**t-series** I can DM you the pages and the article link. Cool?

**strawberry** thanks! :)

**victory violet** i feel uncomfortable

**illiterate** im scared to say anything when aasim is present

**loverboy louis** don’t be mean :((((((

**t-series** It’s okay, Lou. Marlon’s ¼ of a braincell isn’t used to seeing punctuation.

-> **t-series has gone offline.**

**loverboy louis** FJDFJDKLDFJKFDKSJKFJDSKFJSD

**illiterate** HFHFHDHDF

**illiterate** wha t htb h teufck???

**illiterate** COME BACK PUSSY BOY

**victory violet** wow, the mood immediately got lighter when he left

**victory violet** dw marlon im scared of punctuation too

**gabe hanna** i thought u meant a lighter as in the fire thing

**strawberry** sskskks

**m(b)itch** “the fire thing”

**gabe hanna** what the fuck how am i suposed to explain what a mlighter is ui cryign

-> **m(b)itch has gone offline.**

**illiterate** u offended the lighter slut

**illiterate** a tragedy

**loverboy louis** shakespeare is shaking

**illiterate** i misspelled tragedy 3 times before getting it right

**gabe hanna** im gonna buy mitch a fire thing so he will love me again

**illiterate** good job im prpud of u

**illiterate** prpud

**loverboy louis** prpud

**illiterate** proid

**illiterate** proid

**illiterate** prpud

**loverboy louis** its ok take ur time

**illiterate** im gonna shoot myself in the head

-> **illiterate has gone offline.**

**strawberry** oof.

**victory violet** if i sharpen my hearing i can almost hear marlon crying

-> **illiterate has come online.**

**illiterate** i’’mm cry ig ns


	2. no hablo espanol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we have a running gag on our discord server that gabe can't speak spanish lmao. probably very incorrect canon wise but still funny nonetheless. enjoy!

****

**gabe hanna** help

**gabe hanna** thisis urgent pls help

**gabe hanna** **_@everyone_**

**gabe hanna** P L E A S e

-> **m(b)itch has come online.**

-> **communism in korea has come online.**

-> **bwody <3 has come online.**

-> **illiterate has come online.**

**illiterate** DON’T FUCKING @ EVERYONE YOU COCK CHEESE

**bwody <3** Marlon!!! :(

**illiterate** oh fuck

**communism in korea** Are you alright gabriel???

**bwody <3** you gotta be kinder to Gabe :(<3

**m(b)itch** nah u aint

**m(b)itch** knowing him he probably doesnt know how to take the bread out of the toaster or sumn

**gabe hanna** im not even gonna respond to that

**gabe hanna** **@communism in korea** i cant do my fucken spanish homework im goin

**gabe hanna** aaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaa a aa a a

**communism in korea** Ahh sorry i’m not too good at spanish either

**illiterate** gabe……………….

**gabe hanna** marlon

**m(b)itch** gabe ur literally mexican what the fuck do u mean by not knowing how to do ur spanish hw??????

-> **communism in korea has gone offline.**

**illiterate** u took the feet out of my mouth bro

-> **loverboy louis has come online.**

**bwody <3** that’s not how the saying goes Mar…

**gabe hanna** ok listen

**m(b)itch** my ears are peeled like a clementine

**loverboy louis** u mean like a *strawberry

**gabe hanna** my stepmom didn’t know any spanish so we always spoke english @home and i never bothered to LEARN SPANISHH

**gabe hanna** mari refuses to h e kl lp me?????

**m(b)itch** that’s why i love mari

**illiterate** mate cant u ask ur uncle or something

**illiterate** spanish is ur native language and u live with two (2) teachers u got no excuse

**gabe hanna** im not stepping a foot into the living room

**gabe hanna** theyre CUDDLING

**loverboy louis** now that’s a visual

**gabe hanna** c u d d dlking g?????

**gabe hanna** and google translate is a bigger bitch than mitch

**m(b)itch** wow thanks

**bwody <3** i’m taking spanish so if you send me the homework i can see it and help you!! :)<3

**bwody <3 **or at least try haha ;u; i’m not very good…

**gabe hanna** i owe you my life imma send em right now

**bwody <3 **u can buy me some candy tomorrow or something :”)

-> **bwody <3 has gone offline.**

**gabe hanna** i love that woman

**illiterate** oi

**illiterate** hands off

**loverboy louis** i was gonna make fun of gabe but i realized half of my family tree is in france yet i can say maybe 2 words in french

**m(b)itch** im surprised u even know 2

**loverboy louis** baguette and merci

**gabe hanna** fluent god

**loverboy louis** ikr

**m(b)itch** i will forever bully u for not speaking spanish lmao loser

**illiterate** how will you ever recover from such a burn gabriel

**gabe hanna** yo no hablo espanol yo hablo stupidol

-> **gabe hanna has gone offline.**

**m(b)itch** wrow.

-> **t-series has come online.**

**loverboy louis** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**t-series** Why is my name still… this…?

**illiterate** u mean “why is my name still art”

**t-series** Sounds racist but I’ll let it slide.

**m(b)itch** ……….

**m(b)itch** sliiiiiide to the left

**illiterate** SLIIIIIDE TO THE RIGHT

**illiterate _CRISS CROSS_**

**m(b)itch** cha cha real smooth

**t-series** Anyway. I was mentioned. Everything alright?

**loverboy louis** gabe didn’t know how to do his spanish homework lmfao

**loverboy louis** good to see u tho!!!! <<3<3<3<<3<3<<3<3<3<3 uwu owo

**t-series** Say that again and I will jump in front of a bus.

**t-series** Isn’t Gabe hispanic?

**illiterate** he’s having a hisPANIC if u kno what im sayingng

**m(b)itch** gabe makes a band, what is it called? hispanic at the disco

-> **gabe hanna has come online.**

**gabe hanna** and yes but what a shame that mitch is a whore

-> **t-series has changed their name to aasim.**

**m(b)itch** HFHJFHJFHJ IM NOT IVE NEVER FUCKED ANYONE

**gabe hanna** sounds like a personal problem

**loverboy louis** aasim! how are u!!!!!!!

**aasim** I’ve been here for like five minutes and now you ask that.

**loverboy louis** my question still stands ;*)

**aasim** I want someone to crack my skull please, it’ll relieve stress for the rest of my life because I’ll be dead.

-> **victory violet has come online.**

**victory violet** someone in a show i watched was like “i. love. women.” fucking same

**loverboy louis** ugh mood my dude

**illiterate** i wonder what bones taste like

**aasim** huh

**illiterate** is anyone here a dog

**loverboy louis**??????huh`?

**victory violet** _?????????????????????????????????????????????_

**m(b)itch _what_**

**aasim** …..Huh?

**victory violet** thats the worst thing ive ever read what the fuck marlon

**m(b)itch** marlon furry confirmed??

**illiterate** i blanked for a sec and that is what came out

**m(b)itch** ur subconsciously a dog

**loverboy louis** maybe rosie took over the keyboard while marlon was peeing

**aasim** Not surprising, Rosie’s grammar is better than Marlon’s.

**illiterate** okay what the fuck bro

**gabe hanna** i leave for 30 seconds and i see this

**gabe hanna** what happened marlon

-> **illiterate has gone offline.**

**aasim** I would delete this server for one sour cream & onion Pringles chip.

**loverboy louis** ohh is that ur fave

**aasim** Yeah.

**loverboy louis** duly noted

**m(b)itch** louis finna coat his dick in sour cream and onion chips

-> **aasim has gone offline.**


	3. marlon is such a fucking egg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friend scarlett has a brother named dexter shoutout to him *dab*
> 
> here's a link to my discord server; https://discord.gg/KwPJfEQ

-> **m(b)itch** has changed their name to **regretting my life**.

 **illiterate** is this about last night

 **regretting my life** its about last night

 **victory violet** oh boy

 **victory violet** did u only wake up now

 **regretting my life** yep

 **illiterate** its 2pm

 **regretting my life** don’t fucking pretend like ur not hangover

-> **regretting my life** has changed **illiterate** ’s name to **toe**

 **toe** tbh im not even offended

 **regretting my life** duh u have a foot fetish or sumn

 **victory violet** is ur hair still pink

 **regretting** **my life** no violet it magically turned back to brown while i was asleep

 **regretting my life** OF CORSE IT STIL PINK WHAT DDI U EXPECT+??

 **victory violet** it brings out your eyes

 **regretting my life** i have a sudden urge to bring out your eyes with a spoon

 **toe** goddamn and u kinkshame me?

 **victory violet** i fucking dare u mitch

-> **gabe hanna has come online.**

 **gabe hanna** public serviccc eeannouncement i lvoe mitch

 **gabe hanna** oh hhe shere right now whops

 **toe** how do u manage to type like ur drunk

 **gabe hanna** i woke uo and im still drunk

 **regretting my life** bitch ur awake

 **gabe hanna** iam

 **regretting my life** u wont respond to my texts

 **victory violet** i swear this is why i’m a lesbian

 **gabe hanna** i love u mifhc

-> **toe** has changed **regretting my life** ’s name to **mifhc**.

 **mifhc** wow thanks

 **gabe hanna** i have very high standarsds for men and mitch meets all of em

 **mifhc** of course

 **toe** high standarsds but low standards

 **mifhc** im too hangover for this shit

 **victory violet** why was the first thing u thought of doing when u woke up to declare ur undying love to that garbage man

 **gabe hanna** becuz i love him

 **mifhc** yall talk like im not even here

 **victory violet** it’s cause ur from north carolina

 **toe**  that’s rough

 **mifhc** i get insulted all the time for being from north carolina ugh

 **gabe hanna** u insult urself for being from NC suck it up

 **mifhc** shut

-> **loverboy louis has come online.**

 **mifhc** nc is the place to be i might as well fucking move back there since yall clearly don’t appreciate me

 **loverboy louis** wow it feels great to wake up and not have a hangover!! <33<<3

 **gabe hanna** nnouou ily

 **victory violet** drunk gabe is the worst gabe i swear

 **toe** my teeth are rotting and not just from smoking

 **toe** also fuck u lou u were just cuddling ur fucking bf all night huh

 **gabe hanna** ur such a fucking egg violet u wanna fuckin fight

 **mifhc** r00d

 **loverboy louis** you cant spell violet without several letters from egg

 **toe** literally none

 **mifhc** MARLON

 **mifhc** oh my god

 **loverboy louis** damn u rlly are illiterate huh

 **victory violet** marlon is such a fucking egg

 **toe** ??????????? wha

 **toe** have i done goofed

 **gabe hanna** e

 **toe** i have decided e is no longer a letter

 **toe** violet ur violt now

 **victory violet** fuckin hell

 **toe**  if someone mentions this to me i will murder their families

 **gabe hanna** good thing my dad is dead then

 **loverboy louis** FHJDFDSD FUCK

 **mifhc** oh my god gabe

**toe**

**victory violet** jesus fuckin christ

-> **toe has gone offline.**

 **loverboy louis** marlon fucking died

 **gabe hanna** like my dad

 **mifhc** stop it im crying

 **victory violet** u cant spell dad without several letters from dead

 **gabe hanna** my coffee tastes salty cause there are tears in it

 **loverboy louis** is that a linkin park lyric

 **victory violet** yes

 **mifhc** n o

 **mifhc** side note my lil bro saw my hair just now and hes making fun of me

 **loverboy louis** wait fuck i didn’t even know u had a brother??

-> **toe has come online**.

 **mifhc** yeah his name is dexter he’s Lame lol

 **loverboy louis** dexter is the worst name

 **loverboy louis** sounds like a dog

 **toe** is he also a little bitch

 **gabe hanna** did u finish ur breakdown over my dad

 **toe** yeah i panicked and left lmao

 **mifhc** MAR MY BROTHER SAYS SCREW YOU IM WHEEZING

 **toe** u can tell dexter to go suck a dog’s dick

 **mifhc** lmfaoooo he was like “i say hi. also screw him.”

-> **mitch sent a photo** - _Click to open-_

 **victory violet** damn what is that

 **mifhc** it’s my brother vi

 **toe** damn hes kinda cute

 **toe** for a kid

 **toe** he won the genetic lottery out of u two

 **mifhc** dexter says thanks bc u think hes cute wow he’s head over heels what is even happening

 **mifhc** he just fortnite danced nevermind

 **toe** that makes it even more valid hell yeah

 **toe** international fortnite dance go

 **gabe hanna** dexter hates me lol ive met him like once

 **loverboy louis** sorry im quiet im just tryna process the fact that mitch has a whole bROTHER?? and i havent known……………..

 **mifhc** tbh i don’t talk about him a whole lot

 **victory violet** good

 **victory violet** i hate kids with a passion

 **toe**  i thought u liked AJ

 **victory violet** aj is cool

 **loverboy louis** i love aj what a good boy!! a good lad!!!!!!!!!!

 **toe** this one time brody had promised to babysit aj while clem went somewhere with her parents and i was like ‘oh lemme go with her’ and it’s the biggest mistake ive ever made

 **loverboy louis** oh i remember this story

 **gabe hanna** i don’t pls continue

 **toe** he wanted us to play with him right and i was like aight cool, he had a ton of cool toys but at one point we were playing hide and seek inside the house, i found him and walked up behind him and HE FUCKING ELBOWED ME IN THE NADS

 **toe** AND IT WASN’T THE END OF IT

 **gabe hanna** oh my god fndjksfk

 **victory violet** this is my fave story

 **toe**  suddenly he didn’t wanna do hide n seek anymore and while i was still curled up on the ground, defeated, this crotch goblin grabs a toy gun anD SHOOTS ME IN THE FOREHEAD

 **toe** THOSE BULLETS WERE **_HARD_**

 **toe** i havent been over at clem’s since

 **toe** fuckin brody was justlaughing the whole time…………………….

 **loverboy louis** my heart goes out to your testicles brother

 **gabe hanna** that’s the greatest story ive ever heard damn

 **gabe hanna** i lik aj hes a good kid but goddamn lmfao

 **mifhc** dexter says he could punch you in the dick too

 **toe** that’s not my fetish

 **mifhc** yeah but it is mine

-> **toe has gone offline**.

**mifhc**

**mifhc** …………………jk

 


	4. who joined the battle bus?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit of a heavier chapter i guess, no funny haha jokes, more like just explaining a bit of whats happening in the real life of the kiddos.

-> **minnie mouse apologist** has joined the battle bus.

 **m(b)itch** oh

 **loverboy louis** oh

 **gabe hanna** o     h   ….

 **minnie mouse apologist** why do yall sound like a boy band

 **m(b)itch** who gave you an invite im hyperventilationg

 **m(b)itch** yo marlon look who joined the battle bus **@dog fucker**

 **minnie mouse apologist** garcía

 **loverboy louis** gabe??????

 **m(b)itch** i cant believe you would betray us like this gabriel

 **gabe hanna** ????????????wasnt me???

 **minnie mouse apologist** the other one

 **gabe hanna** mari??????????????????????

 **minnie mouse apologist** technically

 **minnie mouse apologist** you gave mariana an invite who gave sophie an invite who gave me an invite

-> **dog fucker had come online**

 **minnie mouse apologist** nice name mar

 **dog fucker** i was @ed wh

**dog fucker**

**dog fucker** minerva???

**dog fucker _WHY IS SHE HERE_**

**minnie mouse apologist** oh come on dude

 **minnie mouse apologist** give it a rest buddy

 **gabe hanna** i wish i could screen record this

 **m(b)itch** whos stoppin u

 **minnie mouse apologist** it’s been half a year marlon did u seriously think im still mad

 **dog fucker** i wouldn’t put it past u………….

 **minnie mouse apologist** ur boo boo the fool

 **minnie mouse apologist** idgaf anymore

-> **strawberry has come online.**

 **strawberry** whats up?

 **strawberry** oh do we have someone new?

 **loverboy louis** clem this was a very poor timing on your part my gal

 **strawberry**??

 **minnie mouse apologist** oh its violets new femme fleshlight

 **m(b)itch** GJKSLGJLFSGJFJG

 **m(b)itch** that’s a creative way to say it sister i think im gonna start using that one

 **minnie mouse apologist** shove an electric guitar up your ass mitch

 **gabe hanna** …………………..

 **strawberry** ok wtf is happening

 **dog fucker** ok im back and i have a beer

 **dog fucker** u havent talked to us in months and suddenly u come here and start terrorizing us?????? i- wha-

 **minnie mouse apologist** just wanted to see how lou was doing tbh

 **loverboy louis** oh my god im feeling so loved right now <333<3<<3<3 ily minnie

 **loverboy louis** im playing i wont get kicked rn oof :*)

 **strawberry** who is minnie?

 **gabe hanna** oh my god i just realized you’ve never met minnie have u

 **strawberry** nope

 **gabe hanna** good

 **minnie mouse apologist** good

 **dog fucker** basically minerva is violet’s ex and she was a part of our band, shit went tits up and we havent talked since they broke up yeehaw

 **minnie mouse apologist** nah u fucked me over and i had every right to be mad

 **minnie mouse apologist** don’t pull vi into this

 **dog fucker** u couldn’t just meet face to face????

 **minnie mouse apologist** you woulda shat your pants if youd seen ava

 **m(b)itch** i shall back u up with that statement, shes freaky and not in the sexy way

 **dog fucker** irrelevant

 **minnie mouse apologist** so am i getting an apology or

 **strawberry** what do u mean by “shit went tits up”? what happened…?

 **minnie mouse apologist** marlon threw me out of the band bc i wouldn’t listen to his dumbass

 **strawberry** huh,,

 **minnie mouse apologist** believe me u shoulda stayed far far away from him

 **minnie mouse apologist** bye

-> **minnie mouse apologist has gone offline.**

 **gabe hanna** well that was cryptic

 **loverboy louis** i gotta say i do love her username

-> **dog fucker has gone offline.**

 **loverboy louis** oof

 **m(b)itch** yikers

 **strawberry** i’m still confused as all hell

 **loverboy louis** yeah things werent rlly as simple as mar said……. they had a really big fight over all sorts of stuff, i think mar called minnie a dyke and shit and minnie accused mar of being abusive………

 **strawberry** damn… idk who to feel sorry for

 **gabe hanna** it was a pretty rough time tbh, marlon had just broken up with sophie too

 **m(b)itch** i remember it like it was yesterday

 **m(b)itch** minnie threw marlon’s drum set out of the 3rd floor window and told him to go shove a stick up his ass it was beautiful

 **gabe hanna** sadist

 **m(b)itch** u know it!!

 **strawberry** sophie is……. her sister right?

 **loverboy louis** yeah, i think minnie thought marlon hurt sophie somehow which got her salty

 **loverboy louis** tbf im not 100% sure how everything actually happened mc i still lived in florida but that’s what i heard from ppl

 **m(b)itch** aka me

 **strawberry** whos this ava she mentioned

 **gabe hanna** her new girlfriend

 **gabe hanna** shes scary as shit

 **m(b)itch** i think _i_ almost shat myself when i first saw her

 **m(b)itch** shes tall and tan and has a bald head with a scar, and she wears more black than marlon ever will, and wears those freaky full-eye contact lenses u can get from like hot topic

 **strawberry** she sounds intimidating

 **m(b)itch** she is, shes a college kid and has a cool motorbike

 **m(b)itch** i lowkey want her to ride me over

 **loverboy louis** aaaaaand the mood is ruined great

-> **dog fucker has come online.**

 **dog fucker** sorry had to blow off some steam

 **strawberry** what does that mean

 **loverboy louis** what did you break this time

 **dog fucker** i threw an old computer into a wall and fucked it up with a sledgehammer

 **dog fucker** felt good

 **dog fucker** sadly the computer wasn’t ginger

 **m(b)itch** u realize your current gf has ginger hair right and that sounds BAD

 **dog fucker** i

 **dog fucker** *ginger with a shaved side


	5. everyone has a fetish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for 1000+ hits yall!! i'm glad you guys find this funny lmao

**aasim** I just finished sticking motivational post-its on my wall and they all fell off.

 **loverboy louis** OGHJKFDK FUCK

 **aasim** I think that says something about my life, tbh.

 **loverboy louis** im so sorry but hol up arent u at school

 **aasim** Got off early, Monroe’s class was cancelled.

-> **dog fucker has come online.**

 **dog fucker** I HATE ART CLASS

 **loverboy louis** why is that

 **loverboy louis** do u have luke rn

 **dog fucker** yes hes making us use tablets to draw what the fucjkckc

-> **m(b)itch has come online.**

 **m(b)itch** tripp just walked out of class without saying a word and didn’t come back i hate high school yall

 **dog fucker** i don’t understand how these things work im OLD

 **loverboy louis** i’m gonna tell u this, i’m fucking dumb when it comes to art tablets ://

 **m(b)itch** i’m gonna tell u this, i’m fucking dumb

 **aasim** Maybe if you listened to what the teacher was saying instead of wasting your time on this chat, you’d actually learn something. Just a thought, though.

 **loverboy louis** lmfaoaooooa get fucked

-> **dog fucker** has changed **loverboy louis** ’s name to **louis smells like feet**.

 **louis smells like feet** WHA T HTSI WHAT DID I DO

 **dog fucker** i’m too scared to touch aasim’s name to be frank

 **m(b)itch** immunity

 **louis smells like feet** theory: mar has a foot fetish and that’s why he named me that way

 **m(b)itch** i-

 **m(b)itch** im not opposed to this theory

 **louis smells like feet** he’s speechless cause im correct

 **dog fucker** i have p much every fetish except feet

 **dog fucker** im playing bubble shooter shut up

 **m(b)itch** BUBBLE SHOOTER IN 2019 FDJSDJKL FUCK MAN

 **louis smells like feet** i was gonna judge but i still have subway surfers on my phone so im not gonna say a word

 **aasim** That was 20 words already, Lou.

 **m(b)itch** im subscribed to a peppa pig channel that streams the same like 10 episodes 24/7 so maybe i shouldn’t judge too hard either

 **louis smells like feet** that wxhplains so much bwehehehe

 **louis smells like feet** wow i cant type

 **m(b)itch** im a hard lad i will scrap u

 **aasim** Every time I read your conversations my life span decreases by six months.

 **dog fucker** luke just asked me wht i was doing and i panicked caus lou’s foot fetish coment was stillon the screen fdklsjfkdsl

 **dog fucker** but now luke knows about this it cant be good

 **aasim** Oh for fuck’s sakes, he just stopped dabbing like last month.

 **m(b)itch** we are doing god’s work sim

 **dog fucker** im gonna ask if he has an acc and add him

 **dog fucker** not in here just as a friend lmfao

 **aasim** Lou, text me in like an hour.

-> **aasim has gone offline.**

 **louis smells like feet** holy shit im gonna get dick pics in an hour guys

 **m(b)itch** i don’t even have to wait lol pussy

 **dog fucker** fellas

 **dog fucker** _pornhub_

-> **victory violet has come online**

 **m(b)itch** dicks are kinda ugly tho when u think about it

 **victory violet** this is the first time i agree with mitch wholeheartedly

 **victory violet** dicks are gross

 **dog fucker** you just havent seen a good one ;)

 **victory violet** right, ive only seen yours

 **dog fucker** oh fuck right off vi

 **louis smells like feet** LMFAOOOOO

 **dog fucker** you havent even seen my dick, why would you have

 **dog fucker** i doubt sophie leaked any dick pics

 **m(b)itch** god

 **victory violet** trust me i try my best to stay away from your dick

 **dog fucker** it’s hard i know

 **m(b)itch** that makes you sound like a rapist dude

 **dog fucker** shut the fuck up mitch im gonna choke u

 **louis smells like feet** that’s a terrible threat hes probably into it

 **dog fucker** hey **@gabe hanna** does mitch like choking?

-> **gabe hanna has come online.**

 **gabe hanna** yeah

 **dog fucker** thank

 **m(b)itch** i

 **gabe hanna** my pleasure

- **> gabe hanna has gone offline.**

 **victory violet** what just happened

-> **bwody <3 has come online**

 **dog fucker** OH

 **bwody <3** hey everyone! :”)

 **victory violet** run brody this is an awful conversation

 **bwody <3** ? :0

 **bwody <3** oh GOD I scrolled up

 **bwody <3** Mar why are you like this

 **dog fucker** i didn’t do shit

 **m(b)itch** i am NOT into choking.

 **victory violet** sure buddy

 **victory violet** you lick knives on your free time there is something wrong with you

 **bwody <3** …..I just wanted to know if anyone would wanna hang out…

 **louis smells like feet** id love to but im waiting for an hour to pass so i can message aasim

 **victory violet** let’s get outta here i’ll text u

-> **victory violet has gone offline.**

**- > bwody <3 has gone offline.**

**dog fucker** I SWEAR

 **dog fucker** im never gonna get laid if shes on the server

 **louis smells like feet** by ‘she’ do u mean vi or brodes?

 **dog fucker** u know what nevermind

 **m(b)itch** im sobbing i couldn’t even defend myself when vi called me a knife licker because its true

 **louis smells like feet** that’s valid

 **louis smells like feet** just don’t hurt yourself babay boyo

 **m(b)itch** my tongue is invincible

 **dog fucker** that’s a great pickup like mitch

 **m(b)itch** well how did u think i got gabe’s attention

 **m(b)itch** actually nevermind it didn’t take much

 **m(b)itch** he was practically drooling all over me after we met for the 1st time

 **dog fucker** i was there and he definitely did

 **louis smells like feet** i’m gonna message aasim “my tongue is invincible” and see what happens

 **dog fucker** fuck go for it mate

 **m(b)itch** some of yall really just wanna ruin ur relationships huh

 **louis smells like feet**  FJKDSFJKLDJD

 **louis smells like feet** HE FUCKING BLOCKED ME

 **louis smells like feet** IM CHCRUING JFDJSFDKLSFKDLL

-> **louis smells like feet has gone offline.**

 **m(b)itch** i guess his tongue isnt as invincible as mine

 


	6. marinara sauce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mari!! my girl!!! my angel babay!!!!!!!

-> **dog fucker has come online**

 **dog fucker** hey

 **dog fucker** hey

 **dog fucker** hey

 **dog fucker** HEY

 **louis smells like feet** woah there pardner what is up my mans

 **strawberry** hey hey hey

 **dog fucker** did yall see brodys new insta pic

 **aasim** Oh boy.

 **dog fucker** SHE S OS OSFCUTE

 **louis smells like feet** i know bro

 **louis smells like feet** u took the pic didn’t u

 **dog fucker** yes im a photography god

 **strawberry** her outfit was cute

 **strawberry** cute bodywarmer

 **aasim** I don’t understand Instagram.

 **louis smells like feet** ur such a grandpa sim

 **louis smells like feet** its not a bodywarmer clem

 **louis smells like feet** it’s a,,,,,,,,, bRodywarmer

**- > aasim has gone offline.**

**- > dog fucker** has changed **louis smells like feet** ’s name to **the pun master**

 **dog fucker** wow i could kiss you rn

 **strawberry** that was a good one tbh

 **dog fucker** still tho she looked so damn cute in that!! her face and her hair is so perfect!!!!! i wanna like fucking h*ld h*nds with her and shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**- > victory violet has come online.**

**victory violet** oH are we talkin about girls

 **victory violet** my speciality

 **strawberry** marlon is drooling over brody

 **victory violet** what else is new

 **the pun master** aasim unblocked me!!<3<3<<3 after the uhhh invincible tongue message

 **victory violet** god damn it louis

 **strawberry** you must be the most romantic guy i know

 **the pun master** u know it clem ;)

 **victory violet** ANYWAY

 **victory violet** has anyone seen minnie online after,,,, the introduction

 **dog fucker** thankfully no

 **dog fucker** i swear what is up with her

 **strawberry** i wouldn’t worry about her tbh, she just wanted a reaction out of marlon and that’s exactly what she got

 **the pun master** this was a bad time to read reaction as erection

 **strawberry** oh boy

 **strawberry** hey speaking of brody, does anyone know where she is rn?

 **dog fucker** she’s got maths

 **victory violet** so nick’s torture chamber

 **dog fucker** nick-sensei is a god

 **victory violet** u just say that cause he gives you smokes

 **strawberry** god i hate nick’s classes, he has no idea what he’s actually talking about

 **the pun master** the whole ericsons is a mess tbh but i love it here bc of all my dear lovely friendos <3<3<3<3<3<3

 **strawberry** :)<3

 **victory violet** god clem since when have u used emojis

 **strawberry** owo uwu

 **victory violet** im having a divorce

 **strawberry** no wait i will feed you grapes

 **dog fucker** what a compelling offer ms. everett

 **the pun master** clem just placing a single grape in violets mouth

 **victory violet** okay im god

 **victory violet** *good

 **strawberry** you could be a god for all i care

 **dog fucker** sounds like lesbianism

 **victory violet** the only language i know is gay

 **victory violet** *whips in homosexual*

**- > marinara sauce has come online.**

**strawberry** hey mari!

 **marinara sauce** hewwo fellow homosapiens and homosexuals

 **marinara sauce** does anyone got any clue where gabe is, hes not responding to my texts

 **marinara** **sauce** useless emosexual

 **marinara sauce** voy a matarlo

 **dog fucker** i have no idea what that means but im still scared

 **the pun master** you type really fast mari

 **victory violet** i have a feeling im gonna start using emosexual

 **strawberry** i’m also an emosexual

 **victory violet** yo clem you’re gonna make me blush and shit

 **victory violet** in class

 **strawberry** tripp noticed im texting but didn’t say anything, is this what it feels like to live above the law?

 **marinara sauce** so gabe????

 **strawberry** right sorry, he has geography rn he’s with me but tripp confiscated his phone

 **marinara sauce** wow great

 **strawberry** i can pass on a message from you tho

 **marinara sauce** aww thanks clem you’re the best

 **marinara sauce** just tell him uncle javi gets off work early so he can take us home

 **marinara sauce** no stinky bus for us!!

 **strawberry** gotcha

 **dog fucker** im so jealous i hate the bus

 **strawberry** oh come on it’s not that bad

 **dog fucker** says you, never taking the bus

 **victory violet** the only bad thing about the bus is mitch blasting linkin park from the loudspeakers

 **the pun master** hold up since when has the bus had loudspeakers?????

 **victory violet** since last week

 **strawberry** kenny told me tripp installed them all around the bus right?

 **victory violet** yep

 **the pun master** god i love that viking so much

 **dog fucker** tripp frightens me

 **dog fucker** his biceps look like they could kill me

 **marinara sauce** tripp is so cute, i saw him leaving flowers into eleanor’s office yesterday

 **strawberry** that’s cute aww

 **the pun master** he treats her so nicely

 **victory violet** that’s why his biceps are so big theyre full of respect for women

 **victory violet** i heard eleanor is seeing someone else tho

 **marinara sauce** omg

 **marinara sauce** no!!! >:((

 **strawberry** eleanor is lowkey a snake

 **dog fucker** i don’t like her she gives me a bad feeling

 **victory violet** i cant believe marlon says he doesn’t like a beautiful woman

 **dog fucker** shut up ur pretty too yet i still hate you vi

 **the pun master** smooth

 **victory violet** bitch

 **dog fucker** bitch

 **victory violet** no u

 **dog fucker** uno reverse card

 **the pun master** if theres something strange in your neighborhood

 **the pun master** WHO YOU GONNA CALL? BITCHBUSTERS

 **strawberry** i just made a weird snorting sound and tripp looked at me like i was dying

 **marinara sauce** @ **victory violet** who tf is she “seeing”???

 **victory violet** this is all rumors okay but i heard from a trustable source that she went out with carlos last weekend

 **marinara sauce** CARLOS

 **the pun master** c ar liows´+???

 **strawberry** as in the doctor???????????????????

 **victory violet** yep

 **strawberry** that’s… interesting

 **dog fucker** what the fuck why would anyone voluntarily go out with sarah’s dad

 **dog fucker** THE sarah’s

 **victory violet** maybe ele’s a masochist i dunno

-> **m(b)itch has come online.**

 **the pun master** we stan a self-hating step-mom

 **marinara sauce** me @ kate

 **strawberry** FJDKSJFDFKSJ oh noooo

 **marinara sauce** does anyone want pics of uncle javi shirtless

 **m(b)itch** i arrived at the right time

 **victory violet** whahtjak??

 **strawberry** what

 **marinara sauce** ahh, mitch, my most loyal customer

 **victory violet** im sobbing what IS this

 **the pun master** for the first time in my life i’m speechless

 **m(b)itch** so are you gonna send them or was this a cheeky tease

**- > marinara sauce sent 4 photos -** _Click to see-_

**- > m(b)itch has switched his status to: fapping**

**dog fucker** noooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 **strawberry** im gonna send screenshots of this to mr garcia in the mail

 **m(b)itch** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **m(b)itch** FUTURE PAPI-IN-LAW ISSA JOKE PLEASE DON’T


	7. ginger holocaust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a couple of possibly insensitive nazi jokes sprinkled in, no hard feelings ;")

**dog fucker** how to get coochie

 **dog fucker** wait this isnt google

 **gabe hanna** impeccable timing as always marlon

 **m(b)itch** do i look like i know an answer to that

 **m(b)itch** actually don’t respond it was a theorical question

 **minnie mouse apologist** is this like an everyday thing here

 **dog fucker** oh god fucking damn it why minerva

 **gabe hanna** chill we were just chattin

 **minnie mouse apologist** are you havin a rough time with brody lmao

 **minnie mouse apologist** that angel is way too pure for you mar

 **m(b)itch** idk how you swayed her tbh but i wish you luck comrade

 **gabe hanna** speaking of coochie why was mari selling mitch photos of uncle javi

 **minnie mouse apologist** why oh why was that the thing you remembered from “coochie”

 **minnie mouse apologist** anyone who uses the word coochie should be gassed

 **dog fucker** i’m gonna start a holocaust for gingers minus brody

 **minnie mouse apologist** okay wow

 **minnie mouse apologist** let me know when you get on with it führer

 **gabe hanna** your hatred against gingers is worrying especially since both of your two (2) girlfriends have been ginger

 **dog fucker** im being fueled solely on minerva juice

 **m(b)itch** i don’t want to hear the words minerva juice ever again

-> **the pun master has come online**

 **the pun master** whatzapple cool kidz! my gang!! buddy pal hood niggas

 **the pun master** wait what the fuck is minerva juice

 **minnie mouse apologist** i can assure you marlon has never been anywhere near my juices

 **gabe hanna** ew

 **m(b)itch** i mean,,,,,, hes been with sophie how different can twins be right

 **minnie mouse apologist** i swear im about to plunge a knife in your throat you absolute mushroom

 **dog fucker** can we please not talk about minerva juices anymore

 **dog fucker** this was not the conversation i had in mind when i saw minnie was online

 **the pun master** YOU’RE the one who started with the juices marlon, you have no right to complain

-> **cowgirl has come online.**

 **gabe hanna** no one answered my question about javier

 **m(b)itch** oh right, i have the pics

 **m(b)itch** u want some?

 **gabe hanna** no????? hes my uncle?????????????????+

 **minnie mouse apologist** sweet home alabama

 **cowgirl** Hey don’t ya talk bout alabama on my watch

 **the pun master** RUBY!!!!!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN MY GAL

 **cowgirl** I didn’t have internet for a week it was glorious

 **the pun master** funny, you spell aggravating differently than i do

 **minnie mouse apologist** did texas have a lot of horses

 **cowgirl** Considering I went to watch horse racing, yes

 **cowgirl** What have y’all been up to??

 **dog fucker** trust be ruby you don’t wanna know

 **cowgirl** I didn’t know Minnie was back in the gang?? I swear i always keep missin all the fun ughh

 **minnie mouse apologist** im not i just like bullying marlon because i know he can do nothing about it

 **dog fucker** giner holocaust is what im gonna do about it

 **cowgirl** I would say yeehaw but I’m ginger

 **dog fucker** oh yeah fuck why is every girl minus vi and clem ginger

 **dog fucker** should i dye my hair orange

 **gabe hanna** go sicko mode

 **cowgirl** I’mma catch up w/ y’all l8, I’ll go find Aasim :”)

-> **cowgirl has gone offline.**

 **the pun master** wait why is she going to find aasim

 **minnie mouse apologist** i lov ruby

 **m(b)itch** fuckf cu fucnk jesus just scared the shit out of me im crying

 **gabe hanna** jesus as in my stepdad or the actual lord and savior jesus of nazaret

 **m(b)itch** the first one

 **m(b)itch** i was chattign right and he just had sneaked behind me when i wasn’t focusing and he whispered “tell gabriel i said hi”

 **m(b)itch** i literally let out a screech and now everyone is lookinga t me im gonan fucking fjdsfkflksfdkjfjksljkf’

 **dog fucker** lmfaoaoaooaoao

 **the pun master** and this, children, is why you don’t text in class

 **gabe hanna** tell him i said hi back

 **gabe hanna** actually tell him buenos dias

 **m(b)itch** wow a multilingual god

**- > communism in korea has come online**

**minnie mouse apologist** whomst

 **gabe hanna** right you don’t rlly know james right

 **gabe hanna** hello minnie meet james hello james meet minnie

 **communism in korea** Someone came up to me and Charlie and said our ship name is James Charles and now I don’t even know who i am anymore

 **the pun master** oh my god that is the most beautiful thing ive ever heard

 **minnie mouse apologist** hi sisters

 **the pun master** HEY SOUL SISTER, AINT THAT MR. MISTER ON THE

 **communism in korea** Frankly idk how to take this I think i just need to lie down,…. for a minute…

 **communism in korea** Oh also if anyone has class with Clementine rn please tell her I’ll be over at 5pm

 **the pun master** will do my man

 **the pun master** why you going over the clems tho

 **the pun master** ;)

 **dog fucker** louis no hes gay and clem is lesbian

 **communism in korea** Babysitting AJ

 **dog fucker** seal your balls

 **dog fucker** that’s all i will say

 **minnie mouse apologist** i’m not even gonna ask i’m just gonna go

 **minnie mouse apologist** nice meetin u james

**- > minnie mouse apologist has gone offline.**

**dog fucker** bye hag

 **gabe hanna** how harsh, is that how you speak to lady people in general

 **dog fucker** okay _gabriel_ do better

 **dog fucker** useless emosexual

 **m(b)itch** im right here

 **gabe hanna** i just came here to have a good time and honestly i’m feeling so attacked right now

 **m(b)itch** if gabe is emosexual does that make me skaterboisexual

 **the pun master** i might’ve read that as skateboardsexual

 **dog fucker** good god

 **m(b)itch** just shove a skateboard inside me im not even worried about it


	8. who's your waifu?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters today???? i am indeed on fire

-> **the pun master** has changed their name to **where is my tongue**

 **victory violet** explain

 **where is my tongue** i did the awful mistake of going to the school cafeteria for lunch

 **where is my tongue** i have never eaten anything as disgusting as lunchlady lilly’s meatballs

 **where is my tongue** i deadass don’t know where my tongue went i feel like it was ripped out of my mouth like a dry sponge and now it’s in texas

 **m(b)itch** welcome to my life, aristocrat

 **victory violet** that’s why i always pay omar to make me lunch

 **strawberry** that sounds genius

 **strawberry** carley makes me lunch every morning she is such an angel!

**- > gordon ramsay has come online**

**where is my tongue** omar help please omar

 **gordon ramsay**   ** _WOULD ANYONE LIKE SOME ST EW_**

 **where is my tongue** im willing to sell my kidneys for some stew right now

 **gordon ramsay** in front of the gym hall in 5

 **strawberry** do you have any snacks on you

 **gordon ramsay** some chocolate bars and liquorice yes

 **strawberry** oh perfect i wanted t get something for mari

**- > gabe hanna has come online.**

**gabe hanna** are you trying to bribe mariana

 **strawberry** no its called being a nice person

**- > gordon ramsay has gone offline.**

**m(b)itch** i wonder how much money omar makes a month just because our lunchlady is incompetent as shit

 **victory violet** i think he said he makes about 500 a month

 **victory violet** he overprices but whatever honestly i applaud his business

 **m(b)itch** i guess it’s time to learn how to cook

 **gabe hanna** you know lunch aside i had a minor breakdown this morning over clothes

 **gabe hanna** mitch has conditioned me

 **m(b)itch** you whore cried because mariana stole your anime waifu t-shirt don’t pull me into that shit

 **gabe hanna** IT WAS WORTH LIKE 50 BUCKS

 **strawberry** who is gabe’s waifu

 **strawberry** aside from mitch

 **m(b)itch** excuse me

 **gabe hanna** nico yazawa

 **gabe hanna** im scum u can say it ;(

 **where is my tongue** oh my lord

 **victory violet** you know what i’m just gonna stay quiet

 **m(b)itch** i had no standards and i’m still disappointed in you

 **victory violet** shes from love live right

 **victory violet** sophie forced me to watch it with her

 **m(b)itch** it’s the og hit or miss girl

 **gabe hanna** shut up or i will make you dress up as the hit or miss girl for halloween mitch

 **where is my tongue** i would pay to see that please im begging

 **where is my tongue** mitch i will literally give you 100 dollars if you cosplay the hit or miss girl

 **m(b)itch** 100? you take me for a cheap whore?

 **m(b)itch** 300 and i will consider

 **gabe hanna** so that’s your worth in your eyes?

 **victory violet** i will contribute as a sponsor, all of my 3 dollars

 **where is my tongue** thank you violet i really appreciate it

 **gabe hanna** lemme make a kickstarter

 **m(b)itch** wait i was joking are you fucking serious

 **m(b)itch** i JUST got the pink out of my hair and now im going full trap mode????

 **gabe hanna** please

 **gabe hanna** i will propose to you if you do

 **victory violet** god that finna be the gayest thing mitch has ever agreed to do and he has sucked a dick or two in his life

 **m(b)itch** for fuck sakes,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **m(b)itch** like im gay but we don’t need to call a bitch out on it

 **where is my tongue** then it’s settled im gonna buy the costume, give mitch additional 300 and the 3 dollars from vi, and gabe can fuck his waifu

 **strawberry** i leave for three minutes and this is what i come back to

 **m(b)itch** thank god i have art class next i can take a big sip of some good paint water and die

 **gabe hanna** omg i have been really craving to drink paint water

 **victory violet** wh

 **gabe hanna** i got already exposed so who are yalls waifus

 **m(b)itch** im not a fucking weeb

 **strawberry** i had a thing for kim possible when i was like 9

 **victory violet** your gay awakening omg

 **victory violet** wait kim is ginger,,,, do you have a thing for gingers

 **victory violet** im gonna yeet the twins, ruby and brody away from you so fast

 **where is my tongue** that’s marlon territory

 **m(b)itch** fun fact marlon might be into gingers because he’s part irish

 **victory violet** what?

 **gabe hanna** marlon is irish??????

 **m(b)itch** yeah he told me at one point that he has some distant relatives from ireland

 **where is my tongue** can confirm!! he goes there maybe once every other year

 **where is my tongue** he can fake a killer irish accent

 **gabe hanna** CAN HE _ACUTALLY_ IRELAND OR IS IT JUST A TOP OF THE FIDDLY DEE

 **strawberry** that entire sentence slapped me in the face

 **victory violet** whiplash

 **where is my tongue** i don’t know im sorry

 **gabe hanna** what an anti-climaxic story i must know

 **m(b)itch** this is completely unrelated but i need your help

 **victory violet** that’s rare

 **m(b)itch** willys bday is coming up and i need to get that kid a present but i have no fuckin idea what to get him

 **strawberry** bro whos willy i forgot

 **m(b)itch** a kid from my street, he p much thinks of me as his big brother

 **where is my tongue** give him money so he can buy whatever he wants

 **m(b)itch** you say that like i have money

 **gabe hanna** uhhhhh build him something in your little epic lab cave

 **gabe hanna** like a swing or something

 **gabe hanna** kids are happy over literally anything

 **gabe hanna** you could give him a stick and hed eat it up like a dog

 **strawberry** just because you were a stupid kid doesn’t mean this willy is

 **gabe hanna** _hey_

 **victory violet** gabes right tho, kids get happy over the smallest things

 **victory violet** idk im sure hes just fine with anything if it comes from someone he cares about

 **m(b)itch** that is the most genuine thing uve ever said to me vi

 **victory violet** i still hate your ugly ass

**- > m(b)itch has gone offline.**


	9. fucking fuckiccnc jfnfkjfjicfiikc

**- > gabe hanna has come online.**

**gabe hanna** im crying and shaking right now

 **strawberry** ?????? u cool?

 **gabe hanna** i cankt ienen type

 **gabe hanna** the package arrived in the mail today

 **gabe hanna** desperate times call for desperate measures **@everyone**

**- > dog fucker has come online.**

**- > m(b)itch has come online.**

**- > louis is a toe has come online.**

**- > victory violet has come online.**

**- > marinara sauce has come online.**

**dog fucker** i swear to fucking god gabriel

 **m(b)itch** gabe

 **m(b)itch** gabe no

 **m(b)itch** i fucking trusted you jusfdsfojsjfds

 **louis is a toe** WAIT THE PACKAGE I ORDERED??????????

 **gabe hanna** YUES

 **gabe hanna** and mitch just sent me this on snapchat

**m(b)itch _GABE I WILL END YOU_**

**gabe hanna sent a photo.**

****

**m(b)itch _GABRIEL GARCIA_**

**dog fucker** aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **- > victory violet **saved a photo sent by **gabe hanna.**

 **strawberry** oh my god

 **marinara sauce** WHY DO YOU LOOK BETTER THAN MOST COSPLAYERS IVE SEEN

 **dog fucker** why does that look really high quality fjskfjkfjksfdj fuckkck

 **louis is a toe** it cost like $200 with express shipping but i don’t regret it

 **m(b)itch** i fucking hate every single one of you fucking fuckiccnc jfnfkjfjicfiikc

-> **marinara sauce** saved a photo sent by **gabe hanna.**

 **louis is a toe** we need a photoshoot! trap queen!!

 **victory violet** i am begging

 **m(b)itch** if i was there gabe i would fucking cut you open and eat your organs and shit them back into you and they’d probably still function normally because of your fucked up shit brain

 **gabe hanna** FJDKLFSJL FUCK

 **marinara sauce** I CANT STOP STARING AT THE PIC

 **marinara sauce** you have really nice abs ;333333

 **dog fucker** suddenly i’m questioning by sexuality

 **m(b)itch** t-traps arent gay

 **louis is a toe** word brother!

 **louis is a toe** or should i say sister

 **m(b)itch** i feel so fucking vulnerable rn im crying

 **m(b)itch** i need a smoke

 **m(b)itch**  i genuinely despise **@gabe hanna**

 **gabe hanna** i genuinely despise **@gabe hanna**

**- > minnie mouse apologist has come online.**

**m(b)itch** no no no the last person i want to see me in a skirtbhtf d sjfjkfjkfjkfsjkfds

 **minnie mouse apologist** which one of you damp socks @ed me

 **minnie mouse apologist** wh

 **minnie mouse apologist** jesus fucking christ mitch

 **marinara sauce** can you cosplay my waifu too ;--33

 **m(b)itch** no no no a million times no

 **m(b)itch** i would kill myself rn but i don’t want THAT to be the last pic i ever took of myself fucckc

 **minnie mouse apologist** i swear its been six months since i stopped hanging with you mitch and now youre dressing up as a thotty anime girl publicly

 **minnie mouse apologist** look how down you’ve sunken

 **m(b)itch** okay shut the h*ck up minerva

 **strawberry** sorry i had to take a break because mitch gave me an existensal crisis

 **victory violet** watch out or someone will call you a femme flashlight again

 **victory violet** i saw those messages minnie

**- > minnie mouse apologist has gone offline.**

**louis is a toe** iconic

 **dog fucker** not even minnie can ruin my mood after seeing mitch in a SKIRT

 **gabe hanna** skirt more like skkkrrtt

 **marinara sauce** okay sk8 boy

 **gabe hanna** okay avril lavigne

 **marinara sauce** chupar una polla

 **gabe hanna** :( you know i cant speak spanish

 **m(b)itch** fun fact una polla means a cock

 **m(b)itch** don’t ask how i know that

 **louis is a toe** this convo reminded me of the latest buzzfeed unsolved episode where ryan was like “i’m getting out-spanished by the white guy”

 **victory violet** real legends watch buzzfeed unsolved high five lou

 **louis is a toe** i slapped the shit out of my phone just now

 **dog fucker** good practice but slap aasims ass next time brother

 **gabe hanna** fhfjhfhdjjh i don’t think aasim would like that

 **louis is a toe** i already almost made him break up with me because of my invincible tongue im not taking chances rn

 **strawberry** pussy

 **victory violet** i love how clem is silent minutes at a time and then comes back with absolute bangers like these

 **marinara sauce** hamburger

 **dog fucker** huh???

 **marinara sauce** oh sorry i thought we were listing the last thing we ate

**victory violet _hfkjdhjfsjhhHjkffkdJKJklfjdjFJDJfjdk_**

**victory violet** i almost died of a coughing fit

 **gabe hanna** im giggling like a lil bitch

 **marinara sauce** i can hear you all the way from the kitchen

 **dog fucker** clem cant even respond she knows youre right

 **louis is a toe** clem found dead in new mexico

 **m(b)itch** im still mad at gabe so does someone wanna play minecraft with me

 **marinara sauce** oh boy

 **m(b)itch** mari it helps me calm down okay the music fucking slaps

 **dog fucker** mitch twerks to the beat of the minecraft soundtrack

 **victory violet** i think im about to shit myself

 **m(b)itch** im going to ignore that untasteful comment and ask again if u wanna play marlon

 **dog fucker** hell yeah bro

 **m(b)itch** :)

 **gabe hanna** these violet video games oh my god is this why you have such bloodlust for me

 **m(b)itch** u know i rlly wanna beat the shit out of u rn

 **louis is a toe** do it sould brother

 **victory violet** black boy condones violence

 **louis is a toe** black boy will commit murder if you keep going down that route violetta

 **strawberry** i’m not shane dawson mariana

 **marinara sauce** oh right you didn’t cum anywhere near your cat (pussy)

 **strawberry** your words not mine!

 **gabe hanna** you know this really makes me question everything that has lead up to this point in my life where im nearly crying in the kitchen with a bottle of mayonnaise and wondering if its appropriate to fap to a pic of your boyfriend in a skirt dressed up as an undrage anime girl,,,,,,,,,,,

 **victory violet** mitch is underage too its not any more illegal than him sucking ur cock

 **m(b)itch** here i am happily starting up minecraft and this is what i see

 **m(b)itch** i cant fucking beliveve uve dine this im dyuing

 **gabe hanna** im getting bullied this is just like 5th grade

 **m(b)itch** SHUT THE HECKIMG UR FACE U SHUTTING GABE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW ARE WE FEELING ABOUT THIS MULTIMEDIA ASPECT?? idk if it kinda breaks the chatroom illusion or adds to it???? let me know broskis ! :*) all photos are made by me and u can find hq versions on my insta or discord uwu


	10. i dont know what to call this chapter tbfh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hewwo sorry for the small break, i've been hella stressed over school and i also switched computers and been messing around with this new one for a few days before i finally got to writing. this one is kinda short but i just needed to test my computer out etc so yeeee

**- > strawberry has come online.**

**strawberry** i woke up to AJ hitting my leg with a toy axe

**strawberry** luckily it was the fake leg lmao

**victory violet** aj keeps getting more and more violent

**victory violet** what is lee teaching him

**strawberry** wellllll he did buy me a realistic toy gun and taught me how to use it when i was 8 years old so

**victory violet** a military god

**strawberry** i love my dad <3

**louis is a toe** cant relate

**strawberry** woah u were so quiet i didnt even notice you were online

**louis is a toe** i was lurkin

**victory violet** daddy problems again?

**victory violet** god im glad i dont live with my parents lol

**louis is a toe** well neither do i, vi, but they still want me to stay in contact ughhghgh

**victory violet** trust fund troubles

**louis is a toe** they wanna come over like, TODAY, and the place is still a fuckin mess after that party last weekend

**strawberry** lou its been five days how have you not cleaned up yet

**louis is a toe** did yall know that hair dye stains stuff

**louis is a toe** my piano,,,,,,,, its pink

**victory violet** cute

**louis is a toe** horrible

**hit or miss** i woke up with my phone in hand and this cursed chat was still open

**hit or miss** i didnt send any weird ass messages at night did i

**victory violet** trust me we would not be able to tell the difference either way

**louis is a toe** mitch why did you lean onto my WHITE EXPENSIVE PIANO when you were waiting for the hair dye to settle down

**hit or miss** idfk i was drunk off my ass

**louis is a toe** i want to eat you

**hit or miss** thats kinky but whatever floats ur boat

**strawberry** i hate every part of this convo

**louis is a toe** i hate! mitch!!!!!

**hit or miss** im shaking and crying

**hit or miss** the dye wasnt permanent tho i got it out in 3 washes bro

**- > dog fucker has come online.**

**louis is a toe** mARLON!!! <3<3<3<3<333<33<3<<3<3<3<33<

**dog fucker** what the fuck

**louis is a toe** i need comfort will you come over and hold me

**hit or miss** excuse me i did nothing

**victory violet** my body is giving up on myself from all this bullshit u guys are spewing out holy fuck

**dog fucker** ahh shit for a sec i thought someone actually loved me

**strawberry** you are literally in a relationship good sir

**dog fucker** i have doubts about everything okay

**dog fucker** always stay on tiptoes u never know whos gonna backstab u

**dog fucker** i dont trust lou being overly kind to me he always has sinister intentions

**louis is a toe** i do not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**- > aasim has come online.**

**aasim** I'm amazed you people have so much energy at 7am.

**louis is a toe** hewwo!!

**aasim** Why did you give Marlon love hearts but not me?

**dog fucker** oh shit

**victory violet** affair aasim

**strawberry** ur killing it with the first syllable rhymes this morning vi

**victory violet** ikr i could kill a whole man with my sick beats

**hit or miss** never say "sick beats" again or ur face will get a sick beatING

**aasim** I swear I sometimes wonder why I stay in this chat.

**aasim** Then I remember this is the best blackmail material a man could hope for.

**hit or miss** i swear if you saved that fucking pic of me in the cosplay i will end your miserable life i aint kidding i will fight you

**aasim** As if you could lay a single punch on me.

**hit or miss** what do you have for an army? a couple of librarians????

**louis is a toe** id love love love to see u 2 actually fighting

**louis is a toe** aasim is stronger than he looks okay

**louis is a toe** ;)

**aasim** Mitch would just be doing me a favor tbh, anything to get me out of this world.

**victory violet** just drink some espresso

**victory violet** goes well with depresso

**hit or miss** im shaking what does that wink mean

**strawberry** that is too nsfw for this

**dog fucker** can we change the topic i really dont wanna know what lou gets up to

**hit or miss** haha was that a boner reference

**dog fucker** mayhaps

**victory violet** wow im actually amazed

**victory violet** like i never thought someone could be more autistic than me

**dog fucker** i was just gonna type "question; does piss taste good to u guys too or is it just me?"

**dog fucker** after reading vi's message i decided not to

**- > aasim has gone offline.**

**- > hit or miss** has changed **dog fucker** 's name to **dont talk to this guy**

**dont talk to this guy** HEY I WAS GETTING ATACHED TO DOG FUCKER

**strawberry** me after watching one video by shane dawson

**victory violet** he fucks cats tho

**strawberry** same animal different format

**louis is a toe** i cant believe u made aasim leave im Big Mad rn!!! :(((((((

**hit or miss** im gonna punch his stpid squidward nose

**dont talk to this guy** oof

**louis is a toe** okay patrick lookin ass

**strawberry** can i perhaps ask why marlon wanted to know if anyone thought piss tastes good

**dont talk to this guy** im not even gonna anser that bye

**- > gabe hanna has come online.**

**gabe hanna** WHY THE FUCK DOES THE PENIS HAVE BRAIN CELLS

**hit or miss** gabe wHAT

**victory violet** i ask that question every time marlon manages to send a message without a single typo

**dont talk to this guy** h e y

**gabe hanna** does it tho???????????????????????

**strawberry**  gabe what the actual hell are you on about

**gabe hanna** i think i had a dream where my dick started to talk to me

**louis is a toe** what it say bro this could be a prophecy

**gabe hanna** i........... cant remember ;(

**victory violet** it was probably like "yo when we gon see mitch in the skirt again"

**hit or miss** i swear to fucking god violet just cause ur a woman doesnt mean i wouldnt gauce ur eyes out

**gabe hanna** i'll say yeet and try to dab but my body nae nae's

**strawberry** these are some serious r/showerthoughts gabe is having rn

**gabe hanna** i woke up 5 mins ago and am just snacking on some gay

**gabe hanna** *cheese

**dont talk to this guy** huh??????

**louis is a toe** what part of that was meant to be cheese i have tears imy eyes

**gabe hanna** i was about to say cheese but the only thing my mind could comprehend was gay

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [yEeHaW bOiS](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18411728) by [stormE_15](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormE_15/pseuds/stormE_15)




End file.
